The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
Why is it that despite our best efforts, many of us remain fundamentally unhappy and unfulfilled in our lives? In this provocative and inspiring book, David Richo distills thirty years of experience as a therapist to explain the underlying roots of unhappiness—and the surprising secret to finding freedom and fulfillment.
There are certain facts of life that we cannot change—the unavoidable "givens" of human existence: (1) everything changes and ends, (2) things do not always go according to plan, (3) life is not always fair, (4) pain is a part of life, and (5) people are not loving and loyal all the time. Richo shows us that by dropping our deep-seated resistance to these givens, we can find liberation and discover the true richness that life has to offer. Blending Western psychology and Eastern spirituality, including practical exercises, Richo shows us how to open up to our lives—including to what is frightening, painful, or disappointing—and discover our greatest gifts.
I can to change them for the better as well. As I grow in the courage to change what can be changed and the serenity to accept what cannot be changed, I find the wisdom to know the difference. As of now, I affirm that I am able to handle whatever may happen for the rest of my life. I have handled so much so far, I know I will be able to face whatever is left. And if I need reinforcements, I will find them. Nothing will turn my life so upside down that I will collapse under it.” Our limits on
in meditation. It is Being toward which beings are tensed but from which they are pulled by fear and desire. Both attachment and avoidance keep us one step removed from the edge of Being, toward which our individual being is spiritually tensed. Teilhard de Chardin described this invisible mystery of Being as “the diaphany of the divine at the heart of the universe.” I take that to be somehow akin to scientist David Bohm’s implicate order beneath the surface of the explicate world. To say there
unremitting sense that we have done wrong and not been fully punished for it, so we are waiting for the sword of Damocles to drop on our heads. This is a superstitious belief in retaliation by the angry gods. It is part of the primitive heritage of our collective humanity. Punishment is a form of superstition in the sense that it is apotropaic, an attempt to ward off evil by a ritual. Yet spiritual consciousness helps us admit and permit our inner opposites, not as dichotomies, but as
favorite refuges. But my new practice is to pause, even for a moment, and look in a mindful way at what I am doing. I am then more and more apt to put aside my habitual refuges and ask for new refuges, the ones that offer more reliability. We may not always be able honestly to declare a commitment to the three refuges of Buddhism or to the refuges in our religious tradition, but we can always aspire to them. WISDOM WITHIN US C. G. Jung proposed a concept of a treasury of the collective
movie invite me to look at my personal griefs. Attraction and repulsion invite me to look at my hidden needs and motives. Memories and images that tug at me invite me to stay with them and to follow their lead into my own unopened spaces. • I am not caught up in regret or self-reproach because of my mistakes in life. I take it all as a learning experience so I can do better in the future. I make amends whenever I can. And, of course, my mistakes become a valuable passport to humility. • I