Deceived With Kindness: A Bloomsbury Childhood
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A Bloomsbury child, with Virginia Woolf her aunt and Vanessa Bell and Duncan Grant her parents. She grew up in Sussex, England, a favorite gathering place for the Bloomsbury crowd. An extraordinary childhood of both privilege and emotional deprivation, She lived a permissive, creative lifestyle with this literary, artistic group, which left her with much emotional turmoil to sort through and it wasn't until after Duncan's death in 1978 that she was able to analyze the truth behind her feelings. This, for her, was a "healing book and emancipation from the past". 180 pages with Index. 8.5 x 5.6 inches.
through. At last we arrived. Devil-like figures came running out of the house, lit up by our headlights. All at once we understood that we were the objects of anxiety: we were told that Duncan and Vanessa had gone out to look for us, and I knew that Vanessa thought we had been drowned. In the warm and brightly lit dining-room we were given boiled eggs by a concerned and unusually serious Grace. All at once there was the noise of a car, and Duncan was in the room asking for a glass of brandy. He
others. I am certain that Vanessa felt guilty with regard to me, and, whether she would have admitted it or not, betrayed it by small, almost imperceptible signs. In addition, unreasonable though it may seem, I resented her age – less for the years it represented than for her lack of elasticity, both physical and moral. I needed a punch-ball to try my strength on, but if I hit out my fist encountered nothing but cotton wool – and I immediately felt ashamed of my violence. Such experiences are
churchyard. The funeral itself took place on a grey spring day. The little churchyard was very green and situated in an au-delà-du-temps, reminding me for some reason of the garden of the Hesperides: Paris and the Three Graces would have been welcome. As it was, there was a small crowd of friends, including our former cook and her husband, and Angus Davidson, the author and translator. He was calm, dignified and pale, the only friend from Duncan’s past. A lot of people were in tears. Paul’s
is not a story of violence or achievement. And perhaps, for modern readers, it is this that is most difficult to understand. Bloomsbury believed in and largely practised intellectual tolerance, but often failed to recognise the power of the emotions or the reasoning of the heart. Fascinating and vital, they hid their feelings behind an apparent detachment that I found at that time repressive and confusing. Separated as I was from them by more than the usual generation gap, their lack of physical
plays bowls, 110–11; relations with wife, 113–14; virginal quality, 122; and Virginia Woolf’s death, 151 Woolf, Virginia: fame, 15; family, 16; personality, 19; relations with Vanessa, 19–22, 27, 107–8, 111; portraits, 20, 112; upbringing, 21; breakdowns, 22, 113–14; creates character for Vanessa, 22–3; flirts with Clive Bell, 26–8; in Sussex, 39; in Tavistock Square, 52–4; AG’s childhood visits to, 53; at Charleston, 106; relations with AG, 106–7, 110, 113–14, 151; at Rodmell, 110–11; gives