Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate

Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate

Roger Fisher, Daniel Shapiro

Language: English

Pages: 256

ISBN: 0143037781

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub

“Written in the same remarkable vein as Getting to Yes, this book is a masterpiece.” —Dr. Steven R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

• Winner of the Outstanding Book Award for Excellence in Conflict Resolution from the International Institute for Conflict Prevention and Resolution •

In Getting to Yes, renowned educator and negotiator Roger Fisher presented a universally applicable method for effectively negotiating personal and professional disputes. Building on his work as director of the Harvard Negotiation Project, Fisher now teams with Harvard psychologist Daniel Shapiro, an expert on the emotional dimension of negotiation and author of Negotiating the Nonnegotiable: How to Resolve Your Most Emotionally Charged Conflicts. In Beyond Reason, Fisher and Shapiro show readers how to use emotions to turn a disagreement-big or small, professional or personal-into an opportunity for mutual gain.

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for you to invent options for mutual benefit. Avoid impinging upon the other person’s autonomy. You can consult before deciding, whether with a colleague or with invisible stakeholders. To clarify decision-making authority, you might work with colleagues to implement the I-C-N bucket system: On which issues should you decide alone? Consult before deciding? Negotiate? By respecting people’s core concern for autonomy, you can stimulate positive emotions in them and in yourself. CHAPTER 6

deserved and feel proud of your own areas of expertise and achievement. While it takes chutzpah to strive for approval, it takes just as much chutzpah to be satisfied with who you are and to value what you bring to a negotiation. If you truly appreciate your own status, you need not worry about what others think of you. In turn, you can acknowledge the status of others without cost. And treating others with appropriate respect often makes them respect you. CHAPTER 7 Choose a Fulfilling

negotiate with their colleagues, boss, or counterparts at another company. This provides you with an opportunity. Expand your role to include meaningful activities. No matter your job label, you have a choice about how to define many of the activities in your role. You can decide the extent to which you want to talk or to listen, to argue or to work together, and to treat others with disrespect or with courtesy. You are free to explore interests with the other side, to brainstorm options that

meet your interests and theirs, and to ask the other person’s advice or to offer advice. You can make recommendations about how to structure an agenda. In large part, the bounds of your role are set by you. Consider the experience of two waitresses working at the same Cambridge restaurant. They discovered that each was trying to write a novel. Both saw the job of waitress as a temporary way to make a living until their first novel was accepted by a publisher. The first waitress found her job

or experience of the other. Know the Limits of Status A number of studies illustrate the concept we term “status spillover.” For example, check out the work of Cohen and David, who provide case studies and discussion of medical mistakes resulting from a person following—without question—the orders of a perceived higher status individual, even when the orders are illogical (M. Cohen and N. Davis, Medication Errors: Causes and Prevention, Philadelphia: G. F. Stickley Co., 1981). 7 CHOOSE A

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